(Here, simply because of the world we live in, I must specify that chivalry has nothing to do with gender or a prescriptive notion of gender roles.)
Something occurred early last week that, when I've told people the story, each person's mouth has dropped open and they have used words like hero, diamond, incredible. That is, if they even believe the story. If I hadn't been directly involved in it, I would believe exactly zero of the story.
(pause)
Yes, I can take care of myself.
But it is a beautiful and loving eye that can see I shouldn't have to and don't want to (none of us should), and puts actions behind supporting me or simply getting me out of a jam.
(pause)
We were sitting at a bar by his house catching up on our past few days, getting a nightcap before Wednesday was upon us. It was getting late. 12:30. I told him I had to get home because I had an early job the next day. We settled up. He asked me if he could walk me to my car and we walked the few blocks laughing. At some point, however, I realized I didn't have my phone.
We retraced the three blocks, asked at the bar: Nothing.
Then I remembered I had my laptop in my trunk and I could try and track the phone. At this point it was about 1am. We drove around trying to connect to wifi from closed cafes. Around 1:30, I had remotely locked the phone with contact information and my companion tried calling the phone a few times. At some point the person who had it called my companion's phone (the number I had programmed as the call back number) by accident. When he answered the person who had the phone hung up and shut the phone off.
For the 20 minutes while the phone was on, it was being tracked to one place without moving: The freeway. Now, this meant that either someone had thrown it out onto the freeway or, as was confirmed by the accidental call back: That it was underneath the freeway at one of the homeless encampments.
"Are you up for an adventure?" he asked.
"You know it.", I replied.
He had mentioned being hungry, so we stopped and got him a sandwich at the grocery store before we drove to the spot the phone had been traced to.
"Do you still have that bat in your car?" he asked, jokingly.
"Yes, but we won't need that."
By now it was two in the morning. I parked. He told me to stay in the car, and I saw him disappear under the freeway.
I waited about 10 minutes and then was like "fuck that", and got out to follow.
Under the freeway, there is a significant drop off and a mixture of pavement and trees.
I jumped.
I landed on kind of a baby tree of sorts. The terrain went more or less straight down, so with every step I took, I would slide about a foot or two. I tried to see as far as I could underneath the freeway. It was so dark and so loud all at once. The sound there is both incredible and haunting.
All of a sudden, I saw someone bolt through the trees back towards the street. I got up and ran to cut them off and, when I did, I ran right into my companion.
"What are you doing?! Why did you get out of the car?"
"I wasn't going to let you go down there alone"
He laughed and reached into his back pocket.
"Here is your phone."
I yelled and laughed at the same time, and threw my arms around him.
I'll leave the story there. In short, he crept until he came upon the encampment and hid behind trees. Finally, when he saw only one person currently at the camp, he snuck up on them, then stepped out and announced he was looking for a phone. The startled person just handed him the phone, seemingly freaked out that he had been located. My companion asked him if he'd like some money for it and he said yeah, so he gave him twenty dollars. He told him that he lives in the area and next time he sees him around to say hi.
I arrived home that night with twigs and leaves in my hair.
I liked this adventure. It's not just that it involved us driving through the city on some weird medium-speed chase, or how we were both under the freeway at 2 in the morning on a weeknight, or how it involved strangers and rescue and ambush and humanity. I liked it because it involved someone going to bat for me in such a blatant way. I like the feeling of someone having my back in a way that feels good. In a way that I need and, frankly, couldn't or wouldn't be able to do on my own.
Chivalry can be made up of some of the most completely shallow, self-serving concepts.
But it can also be made up some of the most tailored, needed and sublime moments to exist.
And that is what I am continuing to enjoy getting used to.
Bring it.
be well; be loved,
k.
(image: Tim Davis via untrustyou tumblr)
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