Saturday, August 20, 2016

We'll Never Be Those Kids Again

Today was set aside for total indulgence.

Productivity, yes, but indulgent productivity.

The day is not over.

In fact, the night has just begun.


This afternoon, in the sun, I recalled why and how music is so important to me and how it can create the perfect moments:

Frank Ocean's new album;  the sun on my legs.


(Image: Felix Gonzalez-Torres, “Untitled”, 1992/1993, Print on paper, endless copies 8 in. at ideal height x 48 ¼ x 33 ¼ in. (original paper size) via Sunwouldshine Tumblr)
(title: lyrics from the song Ivy by Frank Ocean)

Monday, August 15, 2016

Bodies That Live

Taking a break from studying.

Here's the thing:  This course has taught me that I am a smart ass armchair scientist. Reading all of these studies makes me suspicious of things they didn't control for in order to factor out.  For example, I just finished reading three studies having to do with menopause where cis women were studied longitudinally to see if menopause and its supposed symptoms were universal.  Turns out, it's not, and varies quite a bit both from what societal myths say and among ethnic and cultural groups.  So, for an example, Japanese American women in the study reported the lowest rate of hot flashes during pre, early peri, late peri and post menopause points in life.  In the same study, Caucasian women reported the highest rate of irritability across all four of the points studied.  And when I saw this, I was like, well, yeah, probably because the majority of cis white women have been around heterosexual cis white men most of their lives since birth and most of those dudes are annoying as fuck: No surprise after 44-55 years of that shit they have had it.

Needless to say: Scientific study is not exactly my field, but I'm enjoying all that I am learning nonetheless. It's been a challenge- and an exciting one- to back up and learn (or relearn or unlearn as the case may be) all of the information about hormones and bodies and cells and intersexuality and all of these things that start to get at the root of the human body and systems of oppression all within a medical industrial complex built in a gross and shit-tastic capitalist system.

That's all I've got for right now. I need to get back to these readings. It's been a fulfilling and long day.  It feels good to be loved and supported: By magic, by knowledge, by loved ones, and by the nighttime that is about to fall upon us.

sweet dreams and sweet studies: whatever and of whomever they may be.


(image: tumblr)

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Alchemy at its Best

Things have been witchy-er than usual as of late.  There has been the correct balance of solitude, study, adventure, and energies of all sorts.  Incense and candles. Premonition and dreams.

I've been meditating on magick as of late.   There is a passage in the book that I am currently reading, one that is written by a neurosurgeon, that has to do with the magick of connection. The passage describes the moment when you cross paths with a stranger, look into their eyes, and momentarily connect.  See into each other.   How that split moment is something very different than vacant eyes meeting at the same time.  It is different than the overplayed narrative of love at first sight.  It describes, simply, the moments in life when you and another person catch a glimpse of each other's existence in a way that stops everything else.  It could be in an elevator. It could be walking by each other on our ways to somewhere else.  But feeling is different from a vacancy or preoccupation.  It is a type of joint, momentary presence.

In any case, I've been thinking on this for a few reasons that have surfaced in my life. Mainly, fascinating ways that people have stepped into my life. So much chance is involved. Who, where, when. I think often of the importance of being open to the magick that surrounds us all.  Those invisible threads, yet again.

My recent favorite involved a stranger in make up and a tuxedo who ran his hand along my jawline without words. Who poured and lifted a glass of water to my lips without words.  Who took my hand to dance with me without words. We communicated only with body language.  Three hours later, as we were looking at each other from across the room and I went to leave, he glided past everyone to speak his first words.

Another recent favorite would be the woman who asked me what I was reading and, the next thing you know, we are having an incredible conversation about theater.  She leaves and then comes back 20 minutes later with a copy of a play that she wants me to read ~ only for us to discover a few days later that that exact play will be performed locally in a matter of weeks unbeknownst to either of us.

Like magick.

If you pay attention, it is everywhere.

It is how a loved person I have not seen in years is, by chance, in the same place I am in Philadelphia (dressed as a priest no less) and slips up behind me until I feel him, and turn around.


Look around you.  Do the rituals you must do to be open to what surrounds you but, remember: This magick is something much larger than a slight of hand.  It is true; it is celestial. When it pulls you close, let yourself become a part of it. 

Alchemy at its best.

be well; be loved,


P.S. Let me put my book of matches down for a moment and show appreciation for everyone who is off of the mainstream path.  Here I am thinking of the weirdos and artists and inventors and hustlers whom I love.  Photo from tumblr

Saturday, August 6, 2016

The Cutlery of Theives; The Familiarity of Covens

Last night was black thin thigh high cable knit socks and high contrasting stilettos. It was a black tulle and mesh and silk lining skirt. It was 2 am in a wooded, secluded part along the water.  It was park bench. It was being given head (heels crossed upon a soft back lit only by the moon) while night boats glided by a few yards from our vantage point.

It was watching the water side by side- conversations of our lives, our worlds, our languages, our cultures. It was musings on magic, performance, and smoking all threaded within the unconcerned, long-time-friend-like quality that instantly occurs

when two bad kids unite for a while.


(image: "Fuego por ella" Magdalena Frackowiak photographed by Daniele Cavalli for Vogue Spain February 2016via giampixxx tumblr)