The Same But Opposite

 

 

It has certainly been a while. 

Even when I have been writing here, I have not been writing here. 

Within the last several months, there has been:

Two deaths.

No funerals.

One body.

One box.

One breathtaking Virgo upgrade.

One chance.

Six courses of a Shabbat meal in One hotel room.

Five cities.

Two cities to go.

Twenty nine thousand seven hundred and fifty four gasps. 

Three gifts from One heart in Four days.

Thirteen rows.

Twelve days.

Six flights.

Endless thirst for the depth of conversations One offers.

Two necessary conversations after Fourteen years.  

Four days and two shared beds.

The absence of sound when I need it.

 (pause)

 

I have been thinking on concepts such as cognitive empathy and the beauty of how the boundaries we set allow us to love, appreciate, and feel those without regret. 

I have been pondering the question of how trust is built and its relationship to incremental risk.

My heart has been open, overwhelmed and excited.  

When you know, you know: But it is wild to feel the intervention of unseen and formerly uncertain hands. 

be well; be loved,

k.

 Image: “Deconstruction”. Yang Ling by Jumbo Tsui for V Magazine China May 2023 via Vampite Fitness Tumbrl

Glory, or, The Fabric of Frenzy

Current state of affairs:

One of the the things I love the most is having a very favorite tank top to wear with the underwear that look like little shorts and curling up on my bed to write late at night after a productive and eventful day/night. On top of that, tonight, I have a favorite incense burning in the hallway. It is frankincense, but a particular, thicker stick and smoke.  It smells like campfire to me and makes me feel like the best of both worlds:  A slumber party and a bonfire- all panties; no mosquitoes.  What could be better?

I'm coming home late tonight.  This morning was filled with family and a little serious nephew I adore and over relate to. The highlight of this afternoon was the wait staff at a restaurant giving him a small bowl of chalk in which to draw on the chalkboard table. He immediately spilled the stumps of colored chalk onto the table and organized them into piles by color and just left them there.  Throughout the meal, if he started getting antsy or nutty, all I would have to do was reach over, grab one of the pieces of chalk, and place it into a pile other than the color of said chalk. He would immediately get quiet and serious again as he picked up the mismatched chalk and placed it into its proper pile.

Later on was filled with pre-semester preparations and postings.  I am very excited and have met some of the people who will be in my program. School starts on Monday: I can't wait!

Other than that, I've been having thoughts and conversations revolving around utopia/dystopia that have been satisfying and igniting in equal parts. I'm excited lately about chivalry and toughness; delicacy and security. I like feeling physically safe. I like feeling taken care of. I like feeling cared for. These three things are things that feel good to receive and to give.  They all lead to learning and love and, best of all, just straight up mthafkin joy.

Things feel good as of late. Big.Wide. Flourishing.

Keep the path, and keep linked with people who truly want you to grow. There is room for everybody here, but first you have to be able to see and believe that you are warmly invited.

You are.

Shout out to my friends that know the art of making a decently convincing fake blood batch in a pinch. Your genius and heart never end.



Be well; be loved,

k.

(image via mudwerks tumblr)