Last night I had the dream that I needed to. It will never not amaze me how the human mind and subconscious can point you to the exact people and actions that need to transpire. It is both shocking and certain how entire the feeling is once you are given a necessary direction. It can be strange to wake up with a determination in your heart that wasn't there when you fell asleep, but it can also be incredible to feel like a clue in a fancy yet sooty envelope has been slipped to you by a gloved hand while you sleep.
For now, it will be me and activism and books and friendships and probably hiding under my bed for hours from time to time.
It is my blueprint and necessity.
(pause)
Related and unrelated, I do have this self centered thing to say because this bullshit winked its asshole eye at me this morning:
Now is not the time to reveal that you have had a crush on me. It just bums me out and makes me think that you've just been listening to my stories enough to know when I am "finally and actually single". Anyone with half an eyeball towards my heart or mind would know that this is not the time for that kind of reveal. My heart is sad and there is a beauty in that to respect. I'm not going to numb out and fast forward and all of that crap. "I'm not that type of bitch", as they (Cardi B) say(s). I will be that little faggot dandy that will need time for a proper burial and send off for my little heart and for a new, seasoned, and bigger one to return in its place.
(pause)
Lastly, again un-related:
1. Everyone has to do something and everything against the detention centers and family separation.
2. Fuck the Janus Decision. Stay in your union. If you start a job that is union, choose to be in it.
be well; be loved
k.
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