Dreamscapes, or, the Man in Red Chiffon Who Appeared Between Two Elevators in my Dreams

Dreams, while traveling, tend to be the most accurate. The most clear in their symbolism.

Last night in my dream, I was sitting next to Bakke, a former partner of mine who, to this day and probably forever will stand as the most calm, stable, safe, protecting and unflappable person I have ever been partnered with.  I was sitting between him and another former partner of mine I felt safe with (possibly Bradly) who both were wearing similar outfits of dark jeans and flannel button downs.  I remember thinking that, although I didn't care much for flannel, that tonight it was appreciated because I was flanked by it and, when it comes down to it, flannel - like cashmere- is one of the fabrics that is closest to dressing as a teddy bear in a socially acceptable way in public.

In any case. The three of us were sitting in stadium type chairs. There were rows of people next to us, behind us, and three rows in front of us. We were at some type of event, although it was was unclear what kind it was.  I knew there was a dinner. I knew that it was important or fancy even though people's dress did not reflect that.

Suddenly, a woman in a uniform stood up in front of everyone. It was not an actual uniform, but rather, the type of regular street clothing that can be worn to imply a uniform.  She seemed angry about something.

She pulled out a small gun. What is she going to do with that? I remembered thinking.

She then placed it under her chin, slightly pressed it against the U of the underside of her jawbone, and shot herself.

Her body fell to the ground.

I stayed seated between the flannel of Bakke and Bradly as people ran to her body.




be well, be loved,

k.

Postscript: Thank you to Bakke and Bradly who are both people who I've dated for long chunks of time who made me feel safe, offered deep stability, and were consistently very thoughtful. Relationships can be sites of healing trauma and other weird shit. These were two examples of that, without doubt.  They aren't the only ones, of course, but I recognize the reasoning that it was the two of them that appeared in this dream, and why.

(image: By Juan Madrid via untrustyou tumblr)