Follow Me Into the Unknown (The Love of Family)

 I also knew that, in spite of everything, I had to protect her.
                                       
                                                --from Snow by Roberto Bolaño


The beauty of family is that, even when they are pissed at you or you are pissed at them, they are still there to hold you. Literally; figuratively. Chosen family is no different, although there are those who believe it is. Sometimes, people who have the privilege of family of origin miss the most obvious fact:  If one must choose their family, there is no point in settling for a wilted offering of family that doesn't show up for each other. Which is to say: A charity offer of 'family' isn't something I'm interested in.  It reminds me of the wealthy ladies that would try and donate their half used lipsticks to the domestic violence shelter I used to manage.  When we would say "no thanks", they seemed appalled: How dare survivors of domestic violence not happily accept their gross-ass, half slobbered-on, reeking-of-perfume designer lipsticks, right?

Fuck off.

Everyone deserves and has standards and dignity, and that doesn't lower based on how people who should have loved them have treated them.  If you wouldn't accept something, yourself, stop and think about why it is you would offer it to other people.

(pause)

The past few days have been beautiful and inspiring. Speaking of chosen family, I have been hanging out with a loved one as we inspire/encourage/support each other in some pretty epic and exciting stuff. (Scary, but exciting!).  I love the conversations we are able to have.  I love the nerdy and loving space we have created over the years. One thing I love about this level of family is that you can be gross and silly and funny and ridiculous and talk about, well, pretty much anything.  From dripping menstrual blood on the bathroom tile to the inherent sexiness of people with state jobs.

Tonight we will be carrying out a plan that has been in the making for a while, now. It's going to change some things. Move some things. Put some things into action.

I'm excited, and I'm ready.

Here's to family you build with.

With them, you are unstoppable.

Right as rain, and all of the other sayings, here.

Now let's get to it.



Love,


k.


P.S. A toast to the brief Zeb, Jodi and me FaceTime extravaganza.  Same cloth. Same love.

 (image: Ming Xi as photographed in Vogue China, September 2012 via Pivovaroward Tumblr)