Pt I.
I know you think it's wrong.
I know you don't like the way the sun on my back bothers me in the best of ways.
It bothers me well.
It's silly for you to be jealous of the sun.
It was silly for you to be jealous of everything and always.
Pt III (IV?).
Once I realized that you didn't believe me, I helped you along by showing you the inverse of that which sought to hold you.
Everything has a light and a dark side.
People are no exception.
Pt XII.
By the end, I ate dessert off of the back of your torment.
Decedent slices of marble cheesecake with wine while you told me your boring stories of coworkers giving you the snub. Boring because you would get so angry and blaming about it. How could they not want you in their circle?
Why did you care?
So anti-establishment, but there you were scooting your dirty ass around the carpet like an ashamed dog.
[Stop blaming people and begin to own yourself. The only people who are incredible on their knees are the ones who stand upright and tall in their lives. The only ones with an appetite to serve deep enough, insatiable enough, are the ones who serve themselves respect, first.]
The table that was your back would shake as I ate my dessert.
The arching of your back would shift my plate
Teeter my wine glass:
What a pity.
How I concentrated on sugar, and the way it made my brain shake, in order to drown out your words blaming
your mother
your father
your sister
your boss
your friends (who you took turns distrusting)
the world.
(pause)
Pt May 11, 2016.
Now?
The light shines every day for me.
My back is warm
my lips are plump
with an ever ready and true smile
that widens them.
Es un(a) pícar(a) capaz de lo que sea.
Didn't they tell you I was a savage?
Fuck your white horse and a carriage.
k.
(title and italicized words from Rihanna's Needed Me)
(image: Take My Love and Wear It by Lotus Carroll via Lotus Carroll Flickr)
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