White Tiles and the Bathroom Rug That I Bled On

I.

Tonight I went to meet up with an ex and long time friend of mine who is in the country from Spain. Leave it to such visits to make a Monday night feel like an adventure.  Walking through downtown from just North of it back to my car in light rain in the part of the city owned by La compañia.

I will see him again on Thursday.

These years have made many good chapters of us.

I'm proud of who we have become.

I have a lot of respect for how he dealt with a particular situation many years ago. I'd like to think that I would do the same.

I'm mostly convinced that I would, but, who knows.

It's weird how geographic distance can expedite growth, or, at least make us get to the point quicker. It shines a light on how time is of the essence and that we should be as honest and loving with those we want to be honest and loving with as possible.

When he moved away last year, I remember the goodbye being hurried and dusty on a warm day in an industrial part of town.  A few days later, when he was on the plane leaving for Madrid, he wrote me a text from a phone he told me would no longer be good once he got to Europe. It was long. It was beautiful and appreciative of who we had been and, from afar, continue to be to each other.  It meant a lot.  I could picture him taking a last look at the city from the plane while composing it, knowing that from that point on, he would no longer live here. From that point on, he would always be a visitor.

II.

In the mornings when you would wake up, I would note no resistance to your rising. Moments later, I would hear the force of the shower turn on.  I would hear you draw the curtain back- more slack a sound than sharp. Within these sounds, during the fragility of the 5am hour, I would find myself moved to my core.

How did you learn to take care of yourself when no one else was?

Your father gave you routine; your mother the shape of your eyes.


III.


In the meantime, play this loud enough that you begin to feel the bass in your chest.


Ring (Featuring Kehlani)




be well; be loved,


k

(Photo: I like a decent number of the rings that Hvnter Gvtherer designed in collaboration with Chelsea Wolfe for their Farouche collection a number of years ago. This is Double prick ring from Hvnter Gvtherer rings.)