The Lamp That Your Cat Knocked Over and Other Truths That Set Us Free

I.

I am still stunned that I am now living in the same state as members of my family of origin, and it is amazing.

II.

It is the last few weeks of this semester. I am excited and have exactly zero extra time. But that is okay. I have found my new favorite place in which to stash myself so that I am never found.

III.

I've been imagining how Sarge would get involved in some of what is going on as of late. How he would use his ethical and ruled compass to shine a floodlight on some bullshit. I keep imagining how he and Scoob would interact. They are like adorable inverses but reflections of each other, somehow. Scoob preceded him by many years. They never had the chance to meet. Maybe one day.

IV.

Holy fuck and healing. I know it's completely cliche to talk about things like the 'power of love' and all of that kind of thing, but it is no joke. Things that feel like horrible mountains can disintegrate and fall with a puff into the ocean in a matter of moments, actions, words.

Family- every construction and/or birth of it- can, very literally, change your life. (Here, the words "change your life", again, falls flat. But, if you will, think about the actual words. Try and forget that it is an overly used string of words and truly try and feel the weight of the phrase).

V.

Show the world who you are.  That beautifully wired heart and mind of yours. All of the pain that may be laced within it. All of the tastes and flavors that you prefer.

If I've ever told you that I love you, you can know that I have meant it and forever will.  It's not something I say often. It's something, only, that I mean and, somehow, I've always known who to say it to.



be well; be loved,

k.

(image: Alberto Burri - Cretto, 1976. acrovinilico su polistirolo. via giampixxx tumblr)

Forever Be, These Necessary Angels

I feel so fortunate to have people in my life that I can trust.

Last night I learned that the Stalker Creep I was dealing with a few years ago had a friend of theirs introduce them to a friend of mine. Stalker Creep knew that this friend of mine and I were taking some time so that we could be in each other's lives in the future. Within 60 seconds of meeting my friend, SC started asking her about me and focusing on trying to get information. My friend felt uncomfortable so she stopped SC and said "Look. I love her. We are taking space from each other right now, but that doesn't change the fact that I love her. I don't know what you experienced with her, but that is not connected to me."

SC backed off.

A few days later, SC saw my friend again and started getting her drinks. Then SC started asking about me again. My friend shut it down, again. SC tried to tell her made up stories of me showing up at SC's place of work and at places where they were putting on shows- that was when my friend saw a second big red flag. (Admittedly, this one made me and anyone who knows me chuckle.) My friend said, "As soon as (SC) said that I was like "This is a total lie. Anyone who knows you knows that you're not a fan of being around a ton of people period, let alone going to a place where you would run into someone you do not want to see."

A few days later, SC contacted my friend through Facebook and asked if she would write a character statement against me.

To which, of course, my friend said absolutely not.




As time goes on, these freaky puzzle pieces keep being handed to me.

What freaks me out is the intention behind it.

That SC went to lengths to try and scour and find a weak link in the people I have loved and that have loved me and have been in my life .  It is no surprise that the only person that they could find was a person who assaulted me some 8 years ago.

This isn't because my friends are bullies or loyal in the way a weird, low-grade mafia is.

It is because we have been good people to each other, even when - and  maybe especially when - things have been hard.

That was some intense ass news. The kind that makes your throat tighten up because you can feel the target upon you.

It's the people in my life that make me feel protected.

Love to my family. Chosen and otherwise.


be well; be loved,

k.

(image: Marc Chagall, L’ange à la palette (1927-1936) via Deadpaint tumblr)