In(n) Keeping

Returning from a weekend out of state. There's a new moon in Scorpio, and I have been easing into and taking advantage of every opportunity of healing that has offered itself. What has happened in these last few weeks has been incredible, earned, and so incredibly impactful.

I'm grateful for every person who has been a part of this.

I am grateful for the people who have not, as well.

be well; be loved,

k.

*****

I am a possessive boy/friend
I know that this is one of the things
you had secretly hoped
was true

You've never been kept before.

I can feel that in your wild responses
They are a mixture
of family and bones
grief and uncertainty
singularity and determination.

You have a familiar vernacular.
The kind of the kids I grew up with
who are quick to insult you
at any
silent pause
because
deep down
they are terrified
that you will leave.

Someone once told me
that the way you know you love someone
is if, when you see a photo of them as a child,
you want nothing other than to scoop them up
protect them
pinch them
celebrate every specific fleck of color in their eyes
every curve of their face
every angle of their toothless smile
that you know will eventually grow into

the person you know today.

I am a possessive boy/friend

and proximity and promise
have little to do with
this stillness
this calm
this keeping.