Constriction, Restriction and the Joyful Abandon of Being Oneself

Tonight has been one of copious amounts of reading and baths drawn with oregano essential oil and scentless bubbles: A Monday well considered and earned in equal parts.

This past weekend was one of magic, connection and learning. Louisville, Kentucky for the win, yet again. Leave it to me to sense the one person out of 150 who is queer, autistic, from the South, a grown up punk, who does political comics, knows two of the people from Louisville closest to my heart, loves Lynda Barry, also has a tent on their bed, and owns a weighted blanket. New connections, indeed.

One highlight of the weekend was the words of Lydia x. z. Brown, an autistic Asian American queer with solid suit choices that really helped clarify something I have been thinking about a lot over the past few months.  Lydia's speech covered this one particular part of the ADA that I've never known how I felt about.  And it took someone giving a talk about trans autistic experience who has brain for law to clarify it in a way that has shifted my view into clarity.  Thank you for that, Lydia.  [Lydia can be found at @autistichoya and autistichoya.net ]

Some things that I took away from the whole thing- some on a deeper level than before, and some completely new: 

Things like having the lights dimmed, earplugs, communication preference badges ("Needs space", "Hi! Let's talk" and "Come say hi if you know me") at social gatherings, and setting up chunks of time for parallel play (aka this would be like a workshop or party or classroom that does not centralize verbal and direct communication/interaction. Parallel play is when people are in the same space together but aren't expected to interact with each other in the way they would at say, some kind of party or typical social gathering) are all modes of access. Making it a point to tell people that they should use the space how they need (lay on the floor, stand up, rock back and forth or whatever the fuck, come/go as needed, etc) are also modes of access: People pay attention in different ways. As per usual: Just because someone is laying on the floor drawing a picture doesn't mean they aren't listening- it could be exactly what they need to do in order to pay attention. And to folks who get snarky about people using self check out at the grocery store: Sometimes this is an access thing, too. If you want to be a dick to someone, be a dick to the CEOs/bosses that make the decisions to cut costs and employees- not the person using the self check out machine. 

Also: It's nice to know that I'm not alone in some of my preferences and modes of communication and happiness.

If you need me, I'll be in the makeshift cave atop my bed.

Be well; be loved,

k.

(image: Les Films Mysterieux, original poster for Les Vampires (1915) via secretcinema1 tumblr)