Slipping Duty, or, Your Stripes Have Been Revoked

Sunday night. My second company of the evening has just left. There is the smell of candles just blown out in the air in the living room. I'm curled up on the couch.  My refrigerator is humming. The lamp I've put in the dining room offers the warm glow I'm always craving.  I'm such a weirdo about light.  Jun'ichiro Tanizaki wouldn't think so. He'd be exactly on my side on this one.

I'm listening to a song by Nils Frahm called 4:33 or 4'33" off of his Late Night Tales album (open this in another browser and listen to it) on repeat.  It makes me think of all of the plans I had that never came to fruition.  I remember wanting to take you to see him when he was in town. I think you would have enjoyed it. Maybe not. I was never clear on how you felt about pianos.

Tomorrow I have a 6:30am phone call that is of importance.  Attempting to string together words of clarity and engagement can be more than a bit difficult for me at that hour.  But things have been different lately. It's so strange to think about all of the things that have happened energy/body/health wise in the past nine months. I am so grateful to be where I am at, today.

This evening was the slow enjoyment of other people in my home. There are conversations that happen that are different, here. It's been a while since someone commented on and asked me about the books on the bookshelf in my living room. It's the shelf that is my reference books. The books that, to me, are the most important to have in physical form in my home.  It was ironic that she asked me tonight. I have two books arriving tomorrow that will be added to it. One is the book I just finished reading that I want a copy of to own (White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo) and the other is DeRay Mckesson's book that at last is out, On the Other Side of Freedom: The Case for Hope. Listen to/watch this recent interview with him about it that was on the Trevor Noah show a week and some ago when you get the chance.

That's where I'm at tonight. Something that resonates with me on so many levels and on so many things from large scale to the most individual change or accomplishment is something that DeRay says in this interview.  I'll leave you with it:

...our tomorrows can be better than our todays. And the thing about hope is that hope is real work, not just magic.

             --  DeRay Mckesson


Here's to hope and the real work behind it.



Be well; be loved,

k.

(image via giampixxx tumblr)