People tend to try and objectify me in a particular way, often.
Not in a bikini and hot cha cha cha way, but in the way that always leaves me feeling like they would like to keep me in a glass jar.
I've talked about this before.
It's like a child running around with a strange bug in a jar. He feels proud of finding it, of temporarily trapping it (in conversation, in "friendship", etc). That somehow having some interesting bug in a jar elevates his/her own value.
Meanwhile, the bug is being knocked around on glass as the child runs. The bug has no food, no water, and not a lot of air.
In short: The bug, unless it manages to escape or is let go, will die of lack of nutrients or simply, of suffocation.
Nowadays it's more like this:
I see a friendly face.
I have a friendly face.
As the person comes closer, I notice their arms behind their backs.
I know this routine.
Slowly, their arms come around towards me: In one hand, a lid of metal punctured with scattered holes. In the other, a glass jar.
So I turn and walk away.
But it's still boring.
I want to ask (and sometimes do):
Why not be amazed by your own internal and entire beauty?
People are endlessly interesting and strange and wise and beautiful in their stories and secrets and lives and interests and skills.
This is true.
You are.
We are.
All of us.
To see beautiful patterns upon the words and thoughts and hearts of other people, we have to be able to see that same kind of beauty shimmering and reflecting within ourselves.
There is no other way.
Walking around trying to capture other people. Like butterflies. To pin them inside some grotesque shadowbox and hang upon your wall.
It just doesn't work.
"Look how pretty. How interesting. How delicate. How complex..."
The company you are saying this to
blinks in return.
They don't really care
for all of this.
Neither
do I.
-k.
In the royal words of Ru: "And remember: If you can't love yourself- How the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
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