The Golden Ticket in Your (Own) Pocket

It's past 2 AM and I'm in a bikini that I inherited from someone I used to date. I'm in a bed with white sheets, and my legs are sloppily wrapped around the pillow that holds my laptop. The light is illuminating my skin in a way that looks cool, and below me in the alley outside my window, someone periodically calls out 'Heeeeeey' to no one in particular in a way that is as intoxicated as it is friendly.
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Tonight is one of those nights that inspiration injects itself into me at the most inopportune times and I end up going on a bender of art and wonder. It's what most of tonight has consisted of. I'm not complaining.  I'd rather it be that than suddenly being stuck with the desire to become a stock broker or CEO.

I read something a friend of mine has been writing- just a daily journal of sorts about her life.  I've known and not-known her for a long time.  Technically, it was her brother I knew first. But that's besides the point.

But here's the thing:  She completely changed her life to be happier than she was before in the course of two years.  And, while I won't get into the details because-who cares- it's inspiring.  It's inspiring to know that one can hate the shit out of their life, or worse- be just above hating it so they don't even realize they are miserable- and then BAM- in a series of events started by one middle finger flick to the first domino, throw everything they thought they wanted into a garbage can full of shit flames and somehow (in her case drastic decisions and hardcore routine) rise from it again with a completely different life.

And one they are happier in.

It's fascinating and weird shit.

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Something is about to drop or explode or radically change in my life, and I can feel it.

It's the tension that happens just before an anticipated slap, or the burst of heartbeats that happen just before you see the person you've been waiting so long to see. It's all of these things.

Sometimes it is just a matter of perspective and approach, and other times, it is just not giving a single fuck about what anyone has to say about what you do.


Most of the time?


It's all of the above.



Be well; be loved; be exactly who the fuck you want to be, and never underestimate the power of believing in yourself and the ability to rise again.


k.