I Think About You Everyday

The past few days have been both good and rough: Obsession can be a strange beast.  It can push you into the depths you weren't quite ready for.  This, of course, can be a good thing once you are out of it and not dead.  But it can also be consuming in a way that leaves you gasping for air.

I think about you everyday.

The art that comes out of me is manic.

My eyes stare past people in search of something just beyond my fingertips.

Perhaps placing a small mountain of bowling balls in my lap is the answer.

It will keep me from floating away.

And from falling into the depths that I'm not quite ready for.

Fuck it. Let me be consumed.

If I die, I will find death with my mind being completely and darkly wrapped around you.

Can you feel it?

None of this has ever been by chance.

(pause)

Over the past number of years, when I feel kind of isolated for any number of reasons, I turn to some of the theorists, mentors, social critique-rs, activists and writers that teach, mentor and inspire my mind and my action/behavior in the world.

One of the people who I've learned a lot from over the years in reading her writing and listening to her commentary and analysis is Shaadi Devereaux. I'm thinking of this because, during my day today, I re-listened to some of the Black Girl Dangerous podcasts Shaadi was on.  If you haven't listened to any of the podcasts, I really recommend them. Click here and start with Episode 1 on this playlist.


Be well, be loved.  Know that you are entirely worth loving.

k.


(image: Harald Oscar Sohlberg, Winter Nacht in den Bergen (Winter Night in the Mountains), c. 1901 via le collecteur tumblr)